I'm Pulling On My Boots.

I'm pulling out of this black-dog mood that's been stalking me. I've had quite enough, thank you very much.

The hardest thing I will ever do in this life, is to believe in myself. Easily, the hardest thing. With luck and much determined effort, I know this beast will be laid low. I'm relying on:

  • The Ocean.
  • Ray Charles.
  • Images of St. Mark's Basilica in Venice.
  • Super-glue.
  • Lope de Vega's play, "Fuente Ovejuna."
  • My bike, a proud Bianchi Volpe touring model, built by Elven master-craftsmen long ages since, One Bike to Rule Them All.
  • My Library card.
  • Catullus' fragments, and John Donne's sonnets, and Elizabeth Bishops poems.
  • My boots.
  • Mt. Tabor, the only dormant volcano within the city limits of a US municipality (in the lower 48 states, that is).
  • The Hawthorne Bridge.
  • Post-it notes.
  • The NY Times crossword puzzle.
  • "Alberta, 'Berta" and "When I Went Down to Leland", recorded on the Parchman Prison Farm in the '40's.
  • V.S. Naipaul.
  • Rain.
  • Joyce Carol Oates.
  • This blog.
  • Moveable feasts.
  • Coffee.
  • String quartets.
  • My barongs tagalog.
  • Mos Def.
  • Our Lady of Remedies.
  • Son Volt.
  • Nikos Kazantzakis (goddammit I need to update my What I'm Reading sidebar).
  • Images of the facade of the Ummayad palace of Mshatta.

These things, and so very much more, are icons of my self, which is greater than the sum of my parts and only partially reflected through these facets. I am the only living being built this way. I have much work to do. Let's get it on.


The Lioness said...

You rock that bad self of yours, yeah, even if you seem to like kazantzakis!

The Lioness said...

What the hell kind of English is this??? Rock ON WITH that bad self of yours I mean! See, you got me thinking abt Christ Recrucified again and this is what happens! BAD BAD PAUL!

paulmonster said...

For the record, I'm reading Zorba the Greek, not Last Temptation, although I was very much moved by both movie versions of those books--really anything with Harvey Keitel in it will please me.

And Irene (Something Greekopolous), in 'Zorba', Good Lord I Love Her.

The Expression, "Rock On With Your Bad Self," is right proper English (sic) no matter what tangled grammatical rules you may be mistakenly applying. Said to have originated with the inimitable James Brown, it's meaning is rather self-explanatory and I really feel no need to explicate any further, so there. {KICK}

Santiago said...

"You've come a long, long way together
Through the hard times and the good
I've got to celebrate you, Baby,
I've got to praise you like I should"

quoted by Paul 7/23/01

an old acquaintance

paulmonster said...

Santiago! Good lord, it's been awhile!

How the hell are you?