Some Answers

Q. so Paulmonster, you're the busiest and least organized major figure in the Monster world today. Why poems?

A. Well, my young friend, I'll tell you. So I was out in Vermont, thinking about Life and Women and Alcohol, and I realized that there's more to this whole Monster enterprise than just play-acting. Why, golly, if I had a dime for all the things that this Monster ought to be doing, I'd, well, I would be spending my winters in Costa Rica, sunning myself in layers of baby oil, watching endangered baby tortoises amble along in the pristine sand. But instead, here I am, busting my butt to make rent and do worthwhile Theatre Art.
So I said to myself, I said, "Paulmonster, if there's anyone who can bust you out of this two-bit half-baked under-educated boondoggle you've got going on here, that anyone must be You. Or, me. That is, it's Me I'm talking about, not you.

Q. Right. I was a little confused there.

A. Sorry.

Q. 'S okay.

A. So I said to myself, I said, "Paulmonster, I know you should be, like, going to college or something, but here you are with your variegated and multifaceted world-view and a rich little pot of diverse skills and experiences. Surely there's something you could do with all that."

Q. And that's when you started writing--

A. Now, not so fast son, it's not that simple. Even though I haven't gone to college, I still had to figure some shit out, see the world, get myself some book-learning. You're interviewing a certified Wildland Firefighter and Class C Sawyer, here, you know.

Q. Gosh!

A. And a trained EMT-Basic in the State of Oregon.

Q. You must get all the chicks then.

A. You would think.

Q. And all this on top of the Theatre...?

A. Oh yes. Trained at the American Conservatory Theatre in San Francisco. About 20 productions in the last four years, all together.

Q. By the way, you were great in "The Drawer Boy" at Vermont Stage Company. Those shorts!

A. [flushing] yeah, I know, thanks, that was pretty tough...

Q. And when you came out all bloody with the straw in your hair, I LAUGHED...

A. Uh, right.

Q. And in "Blue" back in Poland, how did you manage that amazingly real-looking nosebleed during the Bear-death sequence?

A. Well, you see I couldn't actually see--

Q. Right! I was wondering, since that mask was on the top of your head and you had to stare at the ground while wrestling that one guy and then when you kept tripping on your bear-coat--

A. Uhh--

Q. Man that must have been something, I'd never seen so much blood before, and it looked so real--

A. So I started writing poems--

Q. --oh, right, yeah--

A. --so I started writing poems because I hadn't written any in a long while and when I started this blog it was because I missed the fiery creative crucible of writing and in the process of writing letters (which I do all the time) I realized that there are certain things that the poetic voice can say which the letter voice, and sometimes even the blog voice, can't say, at least not properly.

But really I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I just want to get good at it, whatever it is. So that's why.


JJ-Wan Kenobi said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
The Lioness said...

I like the idea of both the book AND the title! This was a v funny post, very brilliant, yes.

JJ-Wan Kenobi said...

Cheers Lioness...I try to "keep it real", "tell it like it is" be "Jerry on The Block " blah blah blah.

In reality I'm trying to avoid the insurmountable stack of Material Safety Data Sheets that are looming over the coffee on my desk just begging me to enter them into an excel file (sigh). If only I could turn back the hands of time then I could be the wide-eyed wanderer again and Paul could be the little weirdo of a cousin with a much too large head spending all his only-child time building battleships out of Lego and reading books that I so eloquently thought were "gay" as I practiced dance moves to my Eazy-E cassette tape...

Perhaps the nature of the universe works like the bridge of a Klingon Bird Of Prey where I must take the initiative and eliminate the person I wish to replace.

hmmmm...enjoy the funny tasting eggnog at my mom's place this weekend Paul. That know-it-all grin on my face means you'll be the Gowron to my Worf in no time...

JJ-Wan Kenobi said...

I think I just deleted my post??? Here it is again just for posterity sake.

Damn technology. I'm going back to rubbing rocks together and talking to Blue Jays from now on.


Those were all your poems? And here I was thinking you had cut and pasted some Garcia Marquez here, some Neruda there, some Auster here, some Bono there...

Jeez, I mean maybe you should collect all these and call the book "Slight Reflexive Kicks Against The Night" then pay me royalties for coming up with the title and concept.

Maybe we could do a joint venture...cover all media: print, web, ads, sky-writing. I've got a friend who is pilot that would do it for a 26-er of Bacardi Silver!!!

Reading your blogs as of late I'm reminded of U2's new album "HOW TO DISMANTLE AN ATOMIC BOMB" (or maybe listening to the CD straight through my work day at my desk might be inducing a subconscious application of this fine recrding to EVERYTHING in my life...maybe that's why I'm wearing red and black all the time!!!).

Of particular relevance is the lyric "freedom has a scent like the top of a newborn baby's head...". You see, kuzz, you are smelling, tasting and living freedom. Sure, the cost is no $$$ for buying ridiculous shite like iPods and paying your rent but consider the wealth you are accumulating. Even I didn't know where the heck Vermont is...you've lived and breathed the place, even exposed your most vulnerable parts to Vermonters...your soul. That's what you've put out there the few times I've had the fortune of seeing you perform (even as a stumbling blue handed healer with a broken foot).

The poems are a result of your soul being inspired by simple things such as wildlife caught in your headlights, or Johnny Cash, or the perpetual feeling of motion underfoot. It no longer takes ruby red sunrises or beautiful women to bring your words to the surface...life itself is beautiful.

So smell the flowers while you can. If you're fortunate you may never have to leave Neverneverland and join the rest of us toiling, taxpaying rent/mortgage owers...

See you at quasi-Christmas in Canada this weekend.


The Lioness said...

Hey Canuck, whom are you calling a weirdo??? I spent most of my only-child time building battleships out of Lego AS WELL! Though maybe you meant the large head? And thus I discover why the thick thighs (sound's KILLING me, do something!), the need to not to topple his slight 5'3'' Filippino frame over. A-ha! [And I do apologise, I only do metric, I know my height and that's it, have NO CLUE what I'm talking about][And v weird phrasing but you know, sleep and all, feel v foreigner today]

May we all survice Christmas. Amen. And you two, the snow and the cold, while we're asking.

JJ-Wan Kenobi said...


My bad, my bad. I only meant that Paul was a weirdo kid for building Lego battleships and not Lego Star Destroyers or Death Stars.

I warned him that his My Little Pony collection needed to be policed, and what better way than through the fear and intimidation that a technological terror made of multi-coloured bricks of plastic can create.

For the record I too was an only child but preferred to play with pacifist toys like plastic Walther PPKs and blue rods that I made the "vvsshrooomm" lightsaber noises for.

Ah, the carefree abandon of childhood...

JJ-Wan Kenobi said...

BTW, current weather conditions in Vancouver are Rain, NW winds at 8km/h, 89% humidity.

No snow forecasted. Just that glorious wet sunshine straight on through to the weekend.

Paul. Pack your gumboots. We're gonna play hide and seek in the Mirkwood behind me mum's place after "Christmas" dinner this weekend...don't forget the signal flares, bear spray and Rambo knife too.


The Lioness said...

Oh hell, you ARE not seriously going to do that are you??? I LOVE night games! And I kick ass at paintball. And NOW I want a life. And I blame YOU.

paulmonster said...

Oh, yes. But I tend to think bear spray is for sissies, but it makes my cousin feel better, so...

Also, if you want to talk about short Filipinos with large heads, well I'm afraid my cousin J is pretty much the poster-boy for that. Why, I remember when he shaved his head, it was like having a full moon at chest-level whenever you walked beside him.

By the way, when I get north of the Medicine Line this weekend, I think me and my cousin ought to teach ourselves the All-Blacks' Haka--you're right on, Lioness, it's pretty fucking cool. Just the thing for all those nice unsuspecting Canadian neighbors.

When I was in AmeriCorps--I think I mentioned this in a post on your blog but I'm not sure--I stood crowd control for the US Women's Rugby Championships in San Diego... good Lord, that was awesome. I was a squidgy puddle of lovesick goo the whole time. These bronze amazon titanesses would lope onto the field, run their laps, turn mortal men into fragments of bleached stone, that sort of thing.

Cousin, you know as well as I how much of my love of poetry is your fault. I hope you like maple syrup, Gold Leader.

paulmonster said...

And YOU, Lioness--

Happy holidays, be safe, soak up the loving, and keep on rocking in the free world. And try to get some sleep from time to time, yes? But don't let that keep you from posting.