Dear Late October,
You have persisted in throwing extraordinary, highly volatile and emotionally contradictory circumstances directly at my beautiful face for quite some time. Now, I am not a vain man, but neither am I a man of infinite patience. If you continue in your utterly bewildering and quite frankly exhaustive behavior, I shall be forced to take certain stern measures, which neither you nor I find particularly pleasant to contemplate. You may put that in your pipe and smoke it.
Otherwise, you're doing very fine work with the leaves and all. Keep it up.