League of Monster Voters

Here in the great state of Oregon, we get to fill out our ballots and mail them in, as opposed to waiting in long lines on Election Day with little or no preparation. The luxury of having over two weeks to cast our ballots means we actually get the opportunity to make informed decisions on our statewide initiatives. These silly-ass statewide initiatives, by the way, are the bane of my existence. Someone needs to take the business end of a two-by-four to that coterie of dumbass chuckleheads who keep forging signatures so they can put really stupid and obscure measures all over our ballots.

So I'm filling out my ballot with my girlfriend at a bar (what could be more patriotic than that?). And one of those said silly-ass statewide initiatives was at hand, and we were talking about which way to vote (I'd go into the details, but it would take forever and it would give me a headache.) After hashing it around for a bit (like a mouthful of dry gin), I came up with what I thought was a pretty convincing and definitive case for voting against the measure. She didn't quite jump on board right away, so she looked up the online League of Women Voters position on the same measure, and lo and behold but the League of Women Voters endorsed my position point-by-point. She was impressed, and I'm pretty proud that both myself and the League of Women Voters came to the exact same nuanced and deliberative position quite independent of one another.

Now I'm going to relax by conspicuously consuming some apple pie.


paulmonster-league of splendor

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