I have been a reluctant blogger lately, mostly due to my sadly incapacitated laptop.

But more than this, I've lost even the seldom habit of blogging.

I'm in a strange place. These past months are distant and unmoored to me, both immediate and removed. They are like the figures seen through the lit windows of neighbors' houses at night. I can almost reach through and live there.

A friend of mine has written a play about, among a great many other things, a woman who helps her grandmother to die, and then sets about physically altering her appearance even as she emotionally attempts to deconstruct her identity. Reading the play stirred some turbulent things in me.

I'm often lost, prone to breaking things, happy in my books and in my friends, nervous and scared of this new relationship that's brewing nearby, relieved and wistful for a play I've just closed...

More updates soon enough.

paulmonster-breakable