I know, O gentle reader. I failed miserably in my attempt at National Blog Posting Month. I just wasn't good enough, and I entirely misjudged my resolve to post every day. I am a bad, bad polyformer.
But it was not for lack of trying; my screwy-ass laptop is still in the shop. My scattered-ass life is still remarkably scattered. I remain skating adroitly along the seams of insolvency.
I wish I could write that I've moved farther along from the benighted territories that I've been travelogue-ing for so long here on Polyform, but I haven't. I'm still here, lost in the tall grass, ploughing away at the dark, rich, fecund and somewhat smelly earth that is the substance of me. (Perhaps I've gotten more obtuse.)
There is enough pride and joy on a day-to-day basis to keep me going; there is more than enough shame and anxiety, when it comes to the larger picture, to give me pause. I could narrate details for you, but I reckon it would be tedious and repetitive, and it wouldn't necessarily do any good.
What gets me through, what makes it all better on balance, are the quiet moments I spend on my bike in the middle of the night, commuting home, or (and I know how crazy this sounds) the enforced silence of commuting by car, when I'm stuck in traffic and I can't do anything else but turn up or turn down the radio and wait for the logjam of cars in front of me to break. It's the moments in-between, the pauses and the in-breaths, that get me through. They tell me that everything else, all the other little anguishes and the little delights are but as those same moments before, and that somehow everything always leads to something else, one way or another, sooner or later.
Books I'm Reading:
Caesar's Gallic Wars
"The Sea" by John Banville
"Erotism" by Georges Bataille
"The Radicalism of the American Revolution" by Gordon S. Wood
"Romeo and Juliet" by Wild Bill Shakespeare
"Swordfish Trombones," Tom Waits
"Half the Perfect World," Madeleine Peyroux
Baz Luhrman's R & J soundtrack