A List of Items I Do Not Want the US Fatherland Security Dept. to Confiscate.

  • Shard of Steel, stolen from the Gdansk Shipyards
  • 2 Bottles of Sobieski Vodka
  • 6 bars of chocolate
  • My Gerber, aka the Tool which Unlocks the Possibilities of the Universe
  • Collection of old movable type letters
  • Book, "Robert Mapplethorpe and the Classical Tradition", which could conceivably be seen as pornography by barbarian tribes like the Visigoths, the Alemanni and the Neocons.
  • Antique brass lighter with a secret compartment, which could conceivably be seen as a Weapon of Mass Destruction by desperate, election-season Federal officers.
  • Cycling tire patch kit
  • Small dram of Polish honeyed mead
  • Cache of foreign postcards
  • My dignity
  • Museum ticket stubs and paraphernalia
  • papryka potato chips
  • nice German tie for my father
  • handmade Polish icon for my mother
  • Swiss pocket watch

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